Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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