Grow some girl-balls and come out already
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
