I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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