I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
