u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
