Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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