That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
