just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
worst night to have a conscience
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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