also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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