In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My ass is underappreciated
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
