i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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