ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your tits are I can't wait for
just tell him i said nine months
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
