Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
