wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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