so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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