these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need water and some morals
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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