they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
