K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize