Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
