Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
