Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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