Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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