just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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