it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
