In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
