I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
