'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
