the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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