On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
