therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
