Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
