my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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