he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
