it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
