So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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