Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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