I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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