Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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