Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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