I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
