i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
