You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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