When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
