Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
