Porn is love you can see.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
