Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
