About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
