It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
