apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
jump out the window naked night went bad
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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