I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
