Welp...herpes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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