Can i not drive my cunt home
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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